My Thoughts and Feelings

This post contains a description of my thoughts and feelings at this time. There is so much going on right now that I am overwhelmed and need to express my thoughts and need to request that all of you please pray for all these things!

The first thing on my mind is my dad’s surgery tomorrow, please pray that the doctors are able to remove all of the cancer and that my dad successfully heals from the surgery.

As you know I am so proud of my kids, they truly are our little miracles. Each of them have come so far in their short life and I am so thankful for that. You know that there are constant little worries with them regarding their development and their future as well as their overall health (weight, pulmonary, etc.). There are two major things on my mind today. The first is that Annabel has had high blood pressure readings at almost every clinic appointment that it’s been checked (5-10?) since leaving the NICU (it was never high in the NICU). Because of this I raised the concern last year and was told that it would be checked at her well child visits, but most likely it was due to her fussiness during the readings (which she was always fussy). At her 2 year well child the pediatrician forgot to have her checked so I called and they schedule her to come in last week and that visit the nurse who took it said it was perfect. Yet that day the office called that they wanted to do another reading this week so it’s scheduled for tomorrow. I figured 2 good readings meant all is well. Well, this morning I got a call from one of the specialist clinics at the U (can’t remember the name of it) that they had a referral for Annabel from her pediatrician to have an ultrasound done and a visit with the doctor on August 27th. I was dumbfounded for what this appointment could be about until she said hypertension (high blood pressure). Still confused because I thought all was potentially well, I called the pediatricians to ask why they referred to her the specialist. Apparently the nurse was smoking something last week as her reading was NOT normal and was still high (I can’t remember the #’s) so they are concerned, apparently high blood pressure in children can mean kidney disease or something with the heart. So please, please pray for my baby girl that we discover that is it nothing serious causing the high blood pressure, possibly just fussiness in the clinics or something else that we can change such as diet or worse case need some meds, but at least catch it so it doesn’t cause any problems for her in the future. I am so scared and worried right now, I don’t know how I’m going to make it until this appointment. She has fought thru so much; I can’t imagine her going thru something like this too. Please, please pray…

The second thing does not pose as much of a concern as the first but is something we’re watching. As I mentioned Mady’s head hasn’t grown much since last November. I decided to call our pediatrician to develop a plan so that it’s being monitored and to determine if anything else needs to be done (i.e. CT or MRI). Overall our doctor isn’t too concerned as Mady is developing wonderfully but we are going to have it measured in October and again in December and in addition the doctor is going to e-mail our neonatal doctor to run it by her to see if they feel we should get a CT or MRI. The main concern is that if her bones of the fontanel fused together too much, causing the brain not to grow. This would cause a major surgery to fix. So please pray that there is nothing wrong and that Mady is simply having a lull in head growth as some 2 year olds do.

I swear that just when we can take a breath something else pops up. Sometimes I can’t believe all that we’ve gone thru and dealt with in these past 2 years, will it ever get any less worrisome? I know as a parent you always worry but I’m talking about all this very serious stuff, will it ever get better?